My friends are not useless :)

Hello peeps..!

I've always thought that my friends are useless but guess what..they managed to occupy their place in the front page of THE TIMES OF INDIA (ahmedabad version - 5th novemeber 2007).

Check out the following article.


Hookah no bar at home

Ahmedabad: It’s hip, it’s cool and it’s in...but it’s also banned, at least, in public places. Which is why, there’s all the more reason to take the fad home.

The city hookah bars downed shutters after police officials cracked down on several of these on August 27, citing reasons like minors taking to smoking and restaurants violating licensing norms. But this was no dampener for city’s youngsters.

Tapan Bhagat, a young businessman, headed for the nearest antique shop to get a hookah of his own. Today, his home is a hang-out for his friends, flushed with flavoured molasses, tobacco and hookah as accompaniments.

Get-togethers over a hookah have hit conservative homes too. Tapan (21) says, “Initially, my mother did not like the idea at all. But when I explained her that hookah was not harmful and promised that the house would not smell of flavoured tobacco, she was convinced. Later, my father also tried it and now, sometimes both of us smoke together”.

For Sahil Sheth (21), who is pursuing a masters degree in commerce, smoking a hookah at home is more fun. Sahil says, “I have had hookah at home for a long time, but now I use them frequently. I found that smoking hookah at home was more fun as I can set the ambience according to my taste.”

Some have even gone to the extent of getting ingredients for their newfound interest from abroad. “A friend of mine who was in the US got me the self-lighting coal which does not need a sigdi but can be lit by a match-stick,” said Sahil. Anand Swami (25), a corporate executive, felt hookah bars were expensive. “At the hookah bars, having hookah followed by food would cost us nothing less than Rs 700. At home, I can enjoy the same hookah for just Rs 4,” he says.

With police having banned ‘hookah bars’ in Ahmedabad, youths have procured their own and enjoy puffing at home

Courtesy : Vasundhara Vyas TNN
(THE TIMES OF INDIA)

ISA days

Those days would never ever come back..:(

It would definitely hurt everytime i'll see October(0) in my blog archieve. I sincerely apologise for absolutely no activities in the month of october. All blame and accusations to my laziness.

This post has been uploaded on the special request of my ISA friends.I sincerely dedicate the post to my ISA batchmates.I've tried to compile all the incidents that i could recall of and which would help me and my friends to refresh our ISA memories everytime we go through this post.

Indian School, Al-ain, Abu-Dhabi ( ISA )

My ISA journey started in 2000 when i shifted to UAE in 10th std. Since then i've gathered so many memories tht could hardly be forgotten in my whole life.

10th GRADE

1) Coke Spilling incident :).
Main culprits :- Masood and Nahas.

2) Shakir's attempt to turn a circular into a pornocular ;).

3) Wassem sir's classes at Salem's house.

4) Hindi Classes ( Adnan's and Osman's love-hate relationship ).

11th and 12th GRADE

1) Attempt to sit on principal's and headmaster's chair.

2) "He rotated his underpants".

3) "What kind of doctors and engineers will u become..before opening thepatient, he'll die".

4) Hasan - shirli - allah-rakha.

5) Picnic to SAFA PARK, DUBAI - KFC - Football.

6) Couch Attack on Bhami - smashed, thrashed and crashed by headmaster.

7) "kachra"-"they dont even read the newspapers"-"Manglish"-- Omen sir.

8) Sylesh sir's classes at his place - Bin Ali - Choittram - night stay - Blue streak.

9) Iftaar parties @ Reshad's, Mohsin's, Shabin's, Osman's and Salem's place.

10) Himadri's b'day party - deos - lunch box - potatoes - sex stories.

11) "As early in the morning, as early in the morning, as early in the morning, before the breakfast" - Class song.

12) Dynamic and GenX.

13) Raes in library - truth or dare.

14) Osman - Ayesha - Masood (love traingle ;)).

15) Plans to shut off lights @ 25th Annual function.

16) Cricket match : ISA vs OOEHS where ISA thrashed OOEHS badly.

17) Sport's day.

18) Raes's - bathroom slip.

19) Al-Ain Mall visits.

20) Cricket @ Alwyn's place.

21) Football @ Salem's place.

22) Hassan's farting stories.

23) Bettino's place - pondi.

24) Alwyn's b'day party.

25) My b'day party.

26) Priyaraj's play.

27) Salem's and Raes's dance.

28) Flicking stories..;).

How to earn money ?

Don't work hard; work smart.
Prerak Parikh
a smart guy

There is nothing like listening to heart; use brain everywhere.
Prerak Parikh
a brainy chap

There are things which seem incredible to most men who have not studied Mathematics.
Prerak Parikh
mathematician

Friends,

How to earn money ? This is one of the most frequently asked questions since ages. People nowadays want to earn money by any means; by hook or by crook..but how..? this is a head scratching question. There are millions and trillions of websites on internet that gives u useless tips on the same, but don't worry you have come to the right place. I'll teach you one effective method to earn bucks.

Let say, u got a cricket series ( 6 matches ) ahead next month..

First match : India v/s Australia

All u got to do is to prepare 800 letters that predicts outcome of the first match.

Write INDIA WILL WIN TOMORROW in 400 letters and AUSTRALIA WILL WIN TOMORROW in the rest 400.

Post these letters to random addresses in your city before the match day..yeah..mind u that u post the letters to rich people around..

Now..let say..if INDIA WINS, ur next step should be but obvious..concentrate on the clients whom u have sent letters bearing INDIA WILL WIN TOMORROW.

Second match : Pakistan v/s South Africa

Out of these 400 fools, post PAKISTAN WILL WIN TOMORROW to 200 people and SOUTH AFRICA WILL WIN TOMORROW to the rest.

Now..let say..if SOUTH AFRICA WINS, ur next step should be but obvious again..concentrate on the bumchums whom u have sent letters bearing SOUTH AFRICA WILL WIN TOMORROW. These 200 people would be the ones who recieved two correct predictions from u.

Third match : West Indies v/s Srilanka

Of these 200, send WI WILL WIN TOMORROW to 100 and SRILANKA WILL WIN TOMORROW to the rest.

So now u tell me wht if WI wins..? yeah..u r right..

u got 100 fools left.

Fourth match : Scotland v/s Canada

Remaining fools : 50 :-)

Fifth match : UAE v/s Zimbabwe

Send UAE WILL WIN TOMORROW to 25 of them and ZIMBABWE WILL WIN TOMORROW to the rest 25

do the same..if ZIMBABWE WINS..concentrate on the asses whom u have sent letters which says ZIMBABWE WILL WIN TOMORROW.

Sixth mach : Kenya v/s Bangladesh

Well, here Kenyans are underdogs..So send BANGLADESH WILL WIN TOMORROW to 13 people of those 25 and KENYA WILL WIN TOMORROW to the rest 12.

So if Bangladesh wins,

these 13 people out of 800 (originally) would be the ones who got all the correct predictions.

NOTE : Do write ur phone number at the end of each letter that u despatch everytime.

The real play starts now..

These 13 people are the ones who are completely boggled by ur predictions..u r kinda sure shot match predictors for them.

Post one more letter to them saying that they can avail predictions for the future match series at a minimal cost of $200.

I bet u'll surely get response from atleast 10 of them..:-)

So, 10*200 = $ 2000

$ 2000 per series..wht say..? not bad..

PS: The author is not responsible for any jetty consequences that one might/might not face later on.

Repondez s'il vous plait

Friends,

Have u ever thought wht would u do after u get a rejection letter from the company u applied to for a job, a week ago..

don't know..? okay okay..u have come to the right place..

i'll give u some sure shot tips that would really help u out..

Just hold the rejection letter in your hand and imagine that RSVP is printed on its bottom right. Arrey..don't think much..i asking u to imagine it.

The next time u get a rejection letter from a hoped-employer, a company or a publisher just reply them with the following:

Dear (name of the employer),

Thank you for your awesomely written letter of rejection dated (date). Despite the fact that the letter was nicely written, it had certain spelling mistakes. I don't understand, how come an employer like you from a well-known & world reputed firm, commit such horrible spelling mistakes. Dude you gotta improve. (Write the lines even if there are no spelling mistakes). After careful consideration, I sincerely regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal. I tried hard but I'm sorry.

You would be shocked to learn that this year I have been consistently & particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of refusals. You wont believe but I actually recieved some 500 rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it's impossible for me to accept all the refusals. Despite your company's outstanding qualifications and 50 years of past experience in rejecting job applications, I find that your rejection doesn't meet with my needs presently. You could probaby try later on.

Hence, I will initiate empoyment with your organisation as soon as I am done with my graduation. Please note that I would not tolerate your wrong english once I join your company so better start working on it. And please be well-prepared to face an interview with me after I join. I might ask anything. I look forward to working with you.

All the very best for rejecting future candidates.

Sincerely,

(your name).

PS: The author is not responsible for any unpredictable consequences that one might/might not face later on.

The World of Paradoxes

Empty mind is not just devil's workshop but devil's drawing room, devil's bedroom and devil's toilet too.

Prerak Parikh

lazy swine

Oh God..!

What's happening to me these days..? My mind is going weirder and weirder day by day..it's going from bad to worse and from worse to worst.I don't know why but i've started relating everything to paradoxes these days..everything i think, ends up in a paradoxical situation.I know tht sounds bit awkward but i've actually studied some real life paradoxical cases.

lemme start..

Prerak's paradox

I discovered this paradox while chatting with a girl named Nirali Shah on mig33. Lemme tell u how it all happened and how the paradox hit mind..On one fine day, some couple of days ago, while having a regular chat, i asked her what is she doing.She was like she is in a room with her friend and both are chatting with their respective friends on mig33. I was bit boggled at that time..i don't know why but i felt something strange..For a minute or two, i closed my eyes and started analysing the situation..According to her, the situation was, two persons in a room chatting with their respective friends in the outer world on their phones..okay okay..lemme simplify the case..

Let the world population count be X.

The room is THE INNER WORLD ( no communication by any means among the people in the inner world is allowed).

The people with whom the inner world people are chatting with are in THE OUTER WORLD.

Now..for the first case, i mean the case which she told..

The number of people in the inner world = 2 and the number of people in the outer world = X-2

okay lets take a different case..think of a case where there are six people in a room.

This means..

The number of people in the inner world = 6 and the number of people in the outer world = X-6

Think of a case where there are 100 people in a room.

Obviously,

The number of people in the inner world = 100 and the number of people in the outer world = X-100

Now let us integrate the case to its extreme value..just think wht if the whole world (world's population) is in the inner world (in a room)..?

Just think for a while..yeah tht's a PARADOX

A person is not allowed to chat with a person in the inner world and there is no one in the outer world.. wht say..?


Paradox's paradox

couldn't think of a proper name.. :)

This is worst paradox ever studied/thought.

well, i thought of this paradox while shitting..To be honest, more than half of the mind work is done on a pot seat.

Imagine, there are two families.

Family 1 :
A lady named X, her mother Y and her daughter Z.

Family 2:
A man named A, his father B and his son C.

Now tell me wht if X marries A, Y marries B and Z marries C..?

OMFG..see how relations intermingle..

1) A's father B is also his son-in-law.
2) A's son C is also his father-in-law.
3) X's mother Y is also her daughter-in-law.
4) X's daughter Z is also her mother-in-law.
5) A's mother-in-law Y is also his daughter-in-law.
6) A's daughter (actual daughter of X) is also his mother.
7) X's father_in_law B is also her son-in-law.
8) X's son (actual son of A) is also her father.

i know u must be pulling your hair..even i did ;)

Paradox, paradox and paradox all over.

okay okay..don't think much..get back to ur work..

Bye :)

STRANGE WORLD, STRANGE PEOPLE !

BACK IN ACTION

I said "Sorry !"; She said "Please don't talk to me."

I said "Sorry !" again; She said "Please don't disurb me."

But when I said "Go to Hell !", She said "Hey..! I'm sorry."

Prerak S. Parikh

Psychologist

The Times

August 2007

Hello friends,

Good day..!

I'm here to discuss something about HUMAN PSYCHOLOGY today. HUMAN PSYCHOLOGY refers to a scientific discipline that studies/analyzes mental process and behaviour in humans. Psychology is a science of individual or group behaviour and the word literally means ‘Study of mind’.

Well, lemme take you away from such bookish definitions to some real observations and instances. I’ll cover few points, few illustrations which would give u a sheer picture of human tendency to react to negative/weird stuffs.

1) Imagine a scenario where you are invited in a public function in which some random person is gonna be awarded for his bravery. Now, tell me how many of u would actually go and attend the function..? Tell me what’s the probability of your attending the function..? I’m dead sure it would be less than 50% (survey). You, infact anyone would think what the hell will one do over there..? What say..?

Okay..Now imagine a scenario where you are invited in the same public function and the same person is gonna be beaten hard instead of being awarded. Now tell me what the probability is..?
More than 90% (rather 100%) ? So, this is what I want to explain that a human mind always reacts to a negative impact.

According to my survey, 2 out of 10 people said that they would attend the function where the man was to be awarded whereas rest all said “No” and 9 out of 10 people said that they would attend the function where the man was to be beaten hard whereas just one person said “No”. The picture is clear.

2) You must have noticed that at each and every university/college main gate, there stand dozens of boys/young men, handing out paper pamphlets for advertisement purposes. Some say “Work while you study” whereas others say “Best coaching class in town”. Don’t u think these people are fools..?

I want u to tell me how many of these pamphlets are actually read by the students..? Tell me what percentage do the pamphlets that are read make..?
20% or 30% (survey) right?

So how should one tackle this..? How should one increase the percentage..?

Well, here it is. Think, what if the boys give away the pamphlets after folding them into paper balls..? I’m pretty sure that even the busiest man on the planet would unfold it to check what’s in, out of curiosity.

The percentage could be drastically improved (upto 60%) by such practice. Human psychology plays a vital role here too.

3) I’ve had observed one more thing during my college life. The number of people/friends disturbing u, when u hang DON’T DISTURB placard on ur door handle, are more than the number of friends disturbing u, when u don’t hang it.

So think about it..never ever hang such stuff, if u don’t wanna get disturbed. Human psychology is strange.

4) Do u like random chats with random people..? i mean..yahoo, young times, mig33..? Yes..?

Well, i got some tips then..I usually chat with random people on mig33 and I’ve noticed one thing. Infact, it was a sort of survey to prove my point.

What i did was..I typed ‘Hey, asl..?’ in the chat box and sent it to 10 girls (obviously,i don’t chat with boys in random chat room). To my surprise, i got replies from just 2 girls. I don’t understand why girls don’t reply to genuine people (me ;-)). I waited and waited..still, no more replies..(in vain)

Huh ! What i did then was, I typed ‘Hey Bitch’ and sent it to the same girls..Can u guess what would have had happened then..? i know it’s easy to guess..Can u..? Well, I got 10 replies..yes yes..all the 10 girls replied..

It’s as simple as that. Human psychology, once again.

5) U would be surprised to know that even our memory is related to the psychology. Want to know how..? okay..

I’ll give u a list of items..

i) Man
ii) Bread
iii) Cup
iv) Knife
v) Coin
vi) Clock
vii) Desk

Now can u remember this list..? i know it would be tough to recall I but as I said earlier, Human psychology rules!

I’ll tell u how can it help you..

Try to remember the list in the following way..link each and every item one by one. For example..first link man and bread..think of the weirdest combination between the two..something like man and bread are best friends or man and bread are playing cricket etc. Once done with this, move on to the third item viz. Cup. Now, relate bread with a cup..again in a strange way..something like a cup is made up of bread crumb.etc..etc..Keep on linking items one by one and try to recall it..i’m damn sure that it would flow smoothly..enjoy!

Conclusion : Everything is possible in this weird world, if u think differently.

PS : The author is not at all responsible for any jetty consequences that one might/might not face after reading the article.

ADIEU HEMAL !

You're...My Friend, my companion, through good times and bad..my friend, my buddy, through happy and sad, beside me you stand, beside me you walk, you're there to listen, you're there to talk, with happiness, with smiles, with pain and tears, I know you'll be there, throughout the years!

Friends,

Namaste..!

Well, this post is not at all about going crazy. So apologies to those who expected yet another weird and a crazy one.

Wht the hell..?

It's 4 am right now but i'm still wide awake.My body is forcing me to shut my eyes but my mind says 'NO !'. Stream of thoughts is running all over my cerebrum, cerebellum and medula oblangata.

Won't ask me WHY..?

I'm upset :-(

My best buddy Hemal, is leaving for US tomorow. I'm just reminiscing those golden years that we spent together. I feel as if a projector has been installed at the back of my mind tht's flashing those creamy moments we shared in these four years of our friendship.

Dude..How am i gonna forget all tht..?

I am gonna miss each and everything..

Our hostel room 215, those late night chats (U, chabbu, ritwik, aman and me), exam days, late night snacks and coffee @ hostel canteen, breaking locks every third day, shifting rooms, cricket matches @ tapan's verandah, canal visits, mocha's mint hookahs, TCs' daav vaala hookahs, late night platters, abu..udaipur..shreenathji visits, Uttrayan dhamaal, dance parties, teen patti nights, jasu behen's pizza, woodlands..heritage..Madhuli, all that masti with chhabu..

Man, it would be really tough..

I sincerely apologise that i'm not there these days but cannot help it as u know why..

Thanks for everything, all ur support which u gave me in whatever possible form u could give.

Please forgive me, if i've done anything wrong with u or hurt u (accidently or purposefully).

I wish u all the very best for ur higher studies. Gob bless u for ur future endeavors.

PS : Please add comments and tell him how much r u people gonna miss him.

ABRA-CA-CHHABRA

Amigos,

Greetings..!

Apologies for a long break.

Well, i know u must have expected a long boring post from me once again but lemme promise u that this post isn't so.This post will contain no words but action.

I, whole-heartedly dedicate this post to my dear friend Mr. Tejas Chhabra.

The post will prove that Mr. Chhabra isn't just a respected computer engineer and a SAP consultant but a MAGICIAN too.

Hey Hey..! don't laugh..i'm emitting the truth..

Don't believe it..?

Check out the following video..

The video was shot by me when Mr. Chhabra was performing the trick in room no. 215 of DDU boys hostel. U'll see Mr. Chhabra in the same outfit which he wore during the hillarious incident in the post NGNB THEOREM.

well, here it goes..check it out..



PS : If u don't know Mr. Chhabra then better read my posts NGNB THEOREM and HOW TO IRRITATE OTHERS AND SHED FRIENDS?

How to irritate others and shed friends?

'I don't have pet peeves, I have whole kennels of irritation'
--Prerak Parikh
The Chronicle
July,2007

Dudes and Dudettes..!

Here,i come again, with yet another weird but informative piece of article.

Till date,you must have had come across millions and trillions of books and articles that gives random,shitty tips and techniques to impress others and make friends..

Yesterday,I was surfing a library, where I found some 100 to 200 books and articles on the same..

'How to start a conversation and make friends?'
-by Don Gabor

'How to win friends and influence people?'
-by Dale Carnegie

'How to make friends fast?'
-by Frebbie Glue

'Road to friendship'
-by G K. Madison

'Learn to make friends and impress people in just two weeks'
-by John Bradman

etc etc etc..

"What the hell?",i yelled.

Don't u think this is all rubbish?

Fasten ur seat belts..u'll be shocked to learn that, Frebbie Glue, the bald and snobbish author of 'How to make friends fast?' never ever had friends in his life..

How the hell can anyone teach u how to make friends and impress people?

Do u really think u need help of a book to make buddies and influence others?

If u think so, just think about urself..

How many friends do u have?

Did u ever read a book to make friends?

Huh..! atleast now u r getting my point..

In today's world, it's extremely easy to make new friends and instigate people.Just go and join some friendship club in ur locality or just join an orkut community.

lol..! IN SEARCH OF AN AMIGO

You don't even need to do the above mentioned things.You can just approach a random stranger who is loitering around and start talking some intersting suff.He'll be ur buddy,the next minute..

You see..How easy..?

The only problems that are pinching today's youngsters are How to lose friends? it's easy to make friends but have u ever wondered how would u lose one? How to irritate people? How to rub ur friend's ass? (don't take it literally..it's a slang) How to get rid of ur friends? How to become a lamer, a spagnut, a spudnut or a bozo?

Studies have revealed that on an average, a person meets 2-3 lacs people and makes around 500-1000 friends, depending on his nature, in his life time.

My God..!

Don't believe it? Check out ur orkut's friend list..

What i mean to explain is, you don't require such books to make friends.

lemme just stop blabbering and come to the main point..'How to irritate people and alienate friends?'

Before starting, lemme make one thing very clear that the stuff u gonna read now, may or may not lead to unpredictable and jetty consequences and the author is not at all responsible for the same.You may quit if u want else go ahead..All the best..!

Hmm..! so how to bug others and lose friends?

i'll list out some ways to become an irrit.It contains few patent stuff so it's usage is strictly prohibited unless permission is sought from the author.

Infact,u r permitted ;-)

1) Become an ASKHOLE

Wait..!

u might be thinking that i've made a typing mistake but u heard it right..mind u..i'm asking u to become an ASKHOLE and not ASSHOLE/ARSEHOLE..Not only will u lose friends but gain enemies too, by becoming an ASSHOLE..so beware..!

coming back to the point..hey hey..don't gape..i'll tell u who an ASKHOLE is?

ASKHOLE is a person who keeps on asking random and useless questions.Ask ask and ask till u bask and ur friends says 'bus' (enough).It is the best technique to become a bozo.Prepare a series of random questions and learn them by heart..cram it..! Shower them on each and every friend u meet.These questions must range from 'How are you' to 'What's the color of the underwear u r wearing' and from 'What's ur father's age' to 'What's ur grandpa's age' even if u know that his grandpa has already left for heaven, be sure to ask Why, and keep in store a corresponding Why for every answer the patient of a man/woman has for you. With constant practice you shall be avoided. But there is no time for repose, this is just the beginning.

2) SHAAYROLOGY

Chillax..! don't look around for dictionary..

SHAAYROLOGY is a branch of study that deals with shaayris.

All u need to do is to think a rhyming two liner for eg. "aap aaye bahaar aayi..aap gaye chaar aur aayi" and fire it on ur friends when u r in a group..wait..it isn't easy..don't just emit the whole line in one breath..take time and use hand gestures..for eg..

aap aaye bahaar aayi..wah wah..! all hail..!
arz kiya haiaap aaye bahaar aayi..wah wah..! all hail..!
aap aap wah wah..! all hail..!
aap aaye bahaar aayi..
ek aur baar
aap aaye bahaar aayi..
repeat it somewhat like 15 times and then
aap gaye chaar aur aayi..wah wah..! all hail..all hail..!

hmm..! there is an alternative to the above method..

Think of a rhyming two liner and convert it into a sonnet..

How..?

well, lemme illustrate..

"tere pyaar ka aisa kaisa saaya, jo mujpe chaaya..do minute ruk, mein susu karke aaya"

now see how i convert it into a sonnet

arz kiya hai..
tere pyaar ka aisa kaisa saaya wah wah..! all hail..!
tere pyaar ka aisa kaisa saaya wah wah..!
tere pyaar ka aisa kaisa saaya, jo mujpe chaaya wah wah..! all hail..!
1-2-3-4, 4-3-2-1 wah wah..!
tere pyaar ka aisa kaisa saaya, jo mujpe chaaya wah wah..! all hail..!
tere pyaar ka aisa kaisa saaya wah wah..! all hail..!
tere pyaar ka aisa kaisa saaya wah wah..! wah wah..! all hail..!
1-2-3-4, 4-3-2-1 wah wah..!
tere pyaar ka aisa kaisa saaya, jo mujpe chaaya wah wah..! all hail..!
upar se niche, niche se upar wah wah..! wah wah..!
aage se piche,piche se aage wah wah..! wah wah..!
tere pyaar ka aisa kaisa saaya, jo mujpe chaaya
tere pyaar ka aisa kaisa saaya, jo mujpe chaaya
do minute ruk, mein susu karke aaya..wah wah..!

i bet, this will eat up ur friend's brain..lol..!

Infact, this is precisely what i do to pester THE GORILLAS (u wont know wht's it unless and untill u read my post titled 'WINNERS NEVER QUIT' (1-2-1-2-1-2)

3) Hit the Bull's eye

There are a couple of other methods to chafe people and the best one is to attack their ego. Wait, didn't I say the best was to ask questions? Oh whatever, just read don't ask questions. Attack the ego, I say. Sermonize as much as you can. Tell them always that the best path to take in life is a path of integrity, honesty and virtue. Make sure you yourself are atleast a hundred miles away from that path. Great. Ask people that did they embrace the path of integrity, honesty and virtue or are they still ignoble in their outlook every time you meet them. Make sure this is asked in public. You shall again be avoided.
You can also do it in a different way..

Just point out the fields in which ur friends have deep knowledge and ask some random question related to the topic, which are extremely difficult to answer..

Not getting it..?

lemme illustrate..

If someone is very good at cricket and always keeps on boasting about it everyewhere..Ask him some ultra difficult questions related to the sport...ask him "Which sport did Gavaskar use to play before joining cricket?"."In which year did Robin Singh drop his first catch","Against whom did Debashish Mohanty hit his first six?"..don't laugh..but do it, ask the worst questions of all times and make sure u urself know the answers.Do it in public..especially when females are around..Criticize him if he is unable to answer even a single question..Just exaggerate the whole scenerio while telling it to others..he'll surely make plans to kill u overnight..lol..!

4) 1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2

You can skip this point if u have already read my article titled 'WINNERS NEVER QUIT'(1-2-1-2-1-2).If not,i would advice u to read that article and if you don't have time for that..lemme explain this technique in brief.

This is generally used while playing a sport.1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2...It's a jingle created by Chintan and ME to irritate others especially our opponents..we sing it whenever he hit a six, four or take a wicket.

people give high-fives but we use this jingle.

Now how to use this jingle..?

well,
when u say 1, tap ur left leg with the right one lifted in air and when u say 2, tap ur right leg with the left one lifted in air..1 for left, 2 for right, 1 for left, 2 for right (just like army people do)..go on and on and on and on..untill the opponent guy gets extremely furious.This has actually played a vital role in our success..

5) Ashesh's theory of repulsion and cellphone

Don't think much..Ashesh is my dear friend..his theory would definitely help u out to annoy ur friends.

Now the question arises..Wht's the theory?

well, it says "Just say the opposite of what ur friends say and if u feel that you are too weak to prove ur point, pull out ur cellphone from the pocket and start chatting".

for eg. If ur friend claim that Ahmedabad is in Gujarat tell him that he is absolutely wrong..instead,tell him that Ahmedabad is in Karnataka.Stick to it even if u know that u are wrong.Tell ur friend that he doesn't know anything and that he is a shithead.This will actually compel him to bang his head against the wall.

6) Comment randomly

This is yet another effective techinque to rub ur friend's ass.Comment on on everything tht's related to him.Make him feel that he is the only bastard present on the earth.

yes yes..i know u waiting for me to elaborate..i'll..

This is how Aman and Ritwik, my dear friends used to irritate Chhabra,the hero of post 'NGNB THEOREM'.The sole problem with Chhabra is that, he appears to be atleast double of his actual age (21 years).So whenever anything realated to age comes in the discussion,his ass is shot.Aman claims that he can do wonders if he takes part in 'The Great India laughhter Challenge'.A single sentence could make people go crazy.All he needs to do is to go there on the stage and emit "Mein ekkis saal ka hun" ("I am 21 years old").People would actually go flat..lol..!
Once day while describing something about a girl (i don't exactly remember whom),Chabbra uttered "Woh hamare age ki hai" (She is of our age).Aman was like "Hey hey Chhabu, before proceeding, make the thing clear mere (mine) age ki ya tere (ur) age ki".Chhabu was extremely furious at that time.

Do some stuff like this and ur victory is confirmed.


7) Talk in Sign Language

Well, this technique requires a companion.It's useful when u r in a group of three and two of u want to harrass the third ass.All u and ur companion need to do is to cook up a sign language which uses hand gestures and learn it by heart.Practice it as much as u can and fix a day on which u'll use it.
Use the sign language for each and everything u want to deliver ur companion.The third soul will get extremely furious and exasperated.

This is precisely what we (Hemal and ME) used to do to chafe Tejas Chhabra.

Now that you have lost one friend, you can move on to make others solely for the purpose of annoying and losing them.

PS: Reading this article might damage your mental health and the author takes no responsibility.

CONTEST NO. 1

BASED ON THE THREE POSTS POSTED EARLIER

hello friends..!

First of all, i would like to thank u all for liking my blog so much and also for the comments.I am really overhemled by ur responses and i promise to maintain the quality.With the increasing popularity of my blog, i've come up with a contest exclusively for u all.Answer all the questions correctly and earn a free lifetime membership to my blog along with daily prizes.

So wht the hell r u waiting for..?

Wake up and start tickling ur grey cells..


NGNB (Nice Guy, Not Bastard) THEOREM

Questions:

1) Fill in the blanks
(a)“Not all people, who claims that they are not ________, are ________.”
(b) Every word uttered by Chhabra is _______.

2) Name the two real life incidents which proves the author's point?

3) How many lights does a traffic signal have? Which are they?

4) What does the yellow color symbolize according to the author?

5) What percentage of people were categorized in Red, Yellow and Green column?

6) In which column was the author categorized?

7) What is/was Chhabra's occupation?

8) What did Chhabra wear on the incident day?

9) What sound was heard when Chhabra's left leg got stuck in wed mud in the puddle?

10) Who says this:

“ hey loda, tya shu kare che..? jaldi karne..kaale exam che..khabar che ne..? ek pan akshar vaachiyo nathi” ("Hey ass..! wht the hell are you doing over there..? come fast..! don’t u know that we have exam tomorrow..? I haven’t studied a single word yet.”).

and to whom?

11) What was hemal doing during the whole incident?

12) What happened to Chhabra right leg when he inserted it forcefully in the puddle to lift the left one?

13) What happened to Chhabra fancy brown slippers?

14) What did Chhabra finally do to remove those fancy slippers?

15) Who says this:

“agar Prerko hot to mane definitely help karat” (“ If Prerak would have had been there, he would have had definitely helped me”).

and to whom?

16) What did the author prove ultimately?


'THE CHADDI MODEL'

Questions:

1) Who all carried out the work?

2) What purpose was 'THE CHADDI MODEL' made for?

3) Which model was difficult to remember?

4) Which is the sixth step in 'THE WATERFALL MODEL'?

5) Why is there no quitting in 'THE CHADDI MODEL'?

6) Which is the last step in chaddi model?


'WINNERS NEVER QUIT' (1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2)

Questions:

1) Fill in the blank
"Winners never quit and _______ never win."

2) The following quote "The only way to be number one is to be number one." was printed in which newspaper?

3) List down the names of legendary cricketers on whom the story is based?

4) List down the adjectives used to describe prerak's bowling and chintan's batting?

5) What happened to some loser's asses?

6) Name the cafe where prerak and chintan used to spend 5-6 hours a day discussing abt India's future in cricket?

7) What name did prerak and chintan gave to their team and how many players were there in it?

8) Where was the first ever historical win registered?

9) By how many runs were 'THE PANTHERS' butchered?

10) What title did 'THE HOOLIGANS' earns after their success?

11) Name the cricket academy which 'THE HOOLIANS' started?

12) What was the cost of mansion that 'THE HOOLIGANS' owned?

13) Who stood at the door when prerak opened it?

14) What is 1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2 and how is it done?

15) What was the name of the four dumb men's team?

15) How many matches did the teams play?

16) Where were the matches played and who was the refree?

17) Who says this:

"haaish..! atleast tame to aavya..mane to em ke aaje daav" ("oh..! atleast u reached..i thought u ditched me today ")

and to whom?

18) What did 'THE GORILLAS' wear on that day?

19) Who was 'THE GORILLAS's' skipper?

20) Name the 'THE GORILLAS' team members.

21) Who bowled the first over?

22) What was the score after the fourth over?

23) Who hit six sixes in the last over?

24) Who won the match finally?

25) What's the moral of the story?

26) List all the adjectives and abusive words used for 'THE GORILLAS'.

'WINNERS NEVER QUIT' (1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2)

"Winners never quit and quitters never win."
-- Prerak Parikh
-- Chintan Shroff
US Weekly
April,2007

"Winners are the people with definite life purposes."
-- Prerak Parikh
-- Chintan Shroff
The Times of India
May,2007

"The only way to be number one is to be number one."
-- Prerak Parikh
-- Chintan Shroff
The Khaleej Times
June,2007

The following story is about two legendary cricketers viz. Prerak Parikh & Chintan Shroff that india has ever produced and their series of match wins during Dec '07 - Apr '07..Can anyone challenge prerak's whopping rocket fast deliveries and chintan's flamboyant & magnificient drives..?

No one..! right..?

But still there were some hapless & maverick losers who opted to challenge them and ended up getting humiliated, with their asses literally getting thrashed, smashed & crashed into a lump of dirty & stinky shit, with flies and mosquitos hovering all over..(yuck..!)

ops..! sorry..! i know that's tough to imagine but that is exactly what happened..cannot help it..

anyways..lemme just take u away from the above stinky stuff and give u the background..

During my stay in ahmedabad from Dec '07 - Apr '07, i met Mr. Chintan Shroff alias Chinki in one of the sport events in The Sports Club.It was our common interest in cricket that drew us closer.Gradually, we started spending more and more time together,discussing about various cricket techiques, tricks, ideologies, opinons and strategies.We used to spend about 5-6 hours daily in mocha, chatting about india's future in cricket along with hukka pipes in mouth and smoke all around.Eventually, after hours and days of our discussion, we decided and formed a cricket team named 'THE HOOLIGANS'..don't laugh..but the team only had two players Chintan and ME..(We were equivalent to 11).

The first ever historical win was registered on 21st january '07 when 'THE HOOLIGANS' butchered 'THE WARRIORS' by whopping 500 runs at Mithalal-kaniyalal Gali, near lala kaka's bhajiya shop, Ambawadi Por, Ahmedabad.The exciting match was witnessed by the entire globe & accolades flew into our dressing room following the opening-night triumph.

The whole world was aghast when we thrashed 'THE PANTHERS' with 788 runs victory at Chimanlal gali, Ramaniklal Chowk, near kaali mata's temple, Maninagar, Ahmedabad on 25th january '07.Rich accolades were bestowed on the cricket heros viz. 'THE HOOLIGANS'.We soon realised that we were immortal and the champions.

The above two match wins earned the title 'LEGENDS' for us.It was an absolute honor to recieve it from BCCI.We decided to stop playing after that and started cricket coaching classes named 'THE HOOLIGANS CRICKET ACADEMY'.There was an instant rush on the first day itself that we actually registered some 4 to 5 lacs aspirants. On the registration of 4.8 lacs aspirants on the second day our intake capacity was over.We lived happliy then..

Hey..! the story is not over yet..infact till now wht i told was the background..

The actual story starts now..

On one fine shivery evening, Chintan and me were taking rest at our mansion which we bought for $20 billion on C.G road, Ahmedabad."Knock,Knock", i heard all of sudden.I just opened my eyes (half asleep) and scanned all around. Finding no one, i went back to sleep..Chintan too, was sleeping deeply & snoring like a buffalo.We were extremely tired because of our hectic schedule of the cricket academy that we owned."Knock,Knock" i heard again..this time i woke up completely with eyes wide open.Soon, i realised that someone was at the door..Chitan was still lying on his bed snoring badly and with his mouth wide open as if asking GOD to stuff it with gold.."Asshole",i exclaimed angrily.."knock,knock", i heard again.."wait a minute u bastard", i shouted. Furiously i stood up and opened the door but not before slapping chintan's ass tightly with a loud smack.

Four dumb men stood at the door and introduce themselves as Hemal,nandish,abhi and pratik."What do u want assholes..?",i asked angrily, yawning & rubbing my eyes.Chintan was fully awake by that time and he came and stood beside me."oye..! tame shu maano cho potaani jaatne..? match lagaavi che..?" ("hey..! what the hell do u think of urself..? wanna play against us..? "), hemal shouted."Chillax dude..!", we replied and asked them to sit on sofa and explain the matter in detail.I actually wanted to bash their heads off but feared that it might evoke media to fill up their columns against us.The title 'LEGEND' isn't that easy to retain..it may evaporate or vanish with a media's single arrow shot..wht say..? agree..?

anyways..coming back to the story..

They ultimately came to the point.They wanted to defeat us in a cricket match and show the world that india bears more talent than wht it sees."ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha",we laughed with our hands on stomach..i hope u can imagine.."ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha"..the fantastic four got extremely furious with everyone stopping everyone from reacting physically..The matter was going worse..and it was now hurting our celebrity status..We excepted their offer to play 7 series against them each one of 7 matches..that makes 49 matches overall..

49 matches..offf..!, we reacted.

i said "these assholes needs 49 matches to defeat us..we r literally gonna humiliate them" in chintan's ear..Chintan was also laughing in his zipped mouth."Our team's name is 'THE GORILLAS' and remember it",abhi shouted.." What..? 'THE GORILLAS'" ,we repeated and fell down laughing madly..They felt as if they were jokers..and

wait..!

u must be wondering wht the does 1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2 in the tile signify..?

hmm..! well, lemme just break the secret..

1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2...It's a jingle created by Chintan and ME to irritate others especially our opponents..we sing it whenever he hit a six,
four or take a wicket.

people give high-fives but we use this jingle.

Now how to use this jingle..?

well,

when u say 1 tap ur left leg with the right one lifted in air and when u say 2 tap ur right leg with the left one lifted in air..1 for left, 2 for right, 1 for left, 2 for right (just like army people do)..go on and on and on and on..untill the opponent guy gets extremely furious.This has actually played a vita role in our success..

coming back to the story..

hmm..! yes..so we accepted the challenge..and the dates of matches were decided as follows:

series 1: 5th Feb'07 to 11 Feb'07
series 2: 12th Feb'07 to 18 Feb'07
series 3: 19th Feb'07 to 25 Feb'07
series 4: 26th Feb'07 to 4 Mar'07
series 5: 5th Mar'07 to 11 Mar'07
series 6: 12th Mar'07 to 18 Mar'07
series 7: 19th Mar'07 to 25 Mar'07

each match 5 overs

Venue: tapan's verendah, bhagat baug, paldi, Ahmedabad.

Time: 2:00 pm onwards.

Guest of honor cum Refree: Mr. Tapan Bhagat

Guess wht..?

We won all the matches played against them with a clean sweep..

Well, i would not describe the details of each and every match but the one of my favorites which we won with a great pride and honor..

13th match i.e the match played on the 17th Feb'07

Wow, What a match..?

It was a hot & clear afternoon and the sun shone brightly, literally sucking off the body's water..We reached there at 1:30 pm..hmm..not sure..We were the first ones to reach there even before 'THE GORILLAS',audiences and media..we reached there and saw our refree cum chief guest Mr. Bhagat wondering about here and there.."haaish..! atleast tame to aavya..mane to em ke aaje daav" ("oh..! atleast u reached..i thought u ditched me today "), Mr. bhagat said with a satisfaction tone..

We examined the pitch and other groundconditions."eeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhh..!",skidded Honda city.."hey 'THE GORILLAS' are here.",Chintan whispered in my ears..well, this was the only day during our series where both teams and refree cum guest of honor were present before the audiences and media.."khaataak",all the four car doors openned simultaneously and 'THE GORILLAS' came out, donned in white jersey, black tracks and rajnikant's gogs..neither i nor chintan could control our laughter ..Mr bhagat also went flat on the ground seeing their dressing..Soon, media and other audiences arrived..All started clicking 'THE GORILLAS' photos..for some obvious reasons..(lol..!)..A rupee coin flipped in air and i shouted "heads"..refree congatulated me and asked me to decide..we decided to bat first (team tricks and techniques)..The match started..yes yes..it was 2 men versus 4 gorillas..wht we called as 'handicap match'..but number doesnot matter.Wht matters are the skills and techniques.Everyone took their respective positions and the whistle was blown.Chintan was on strike and me on the other side..Hemal,'THE GORILLAS' captain snatched the ball from pratik,who wanted to bowl the first over and gave it to his dear friend Abhi.Abhi bowled the very first bowl of the very first over with a prasad's style and he was smashed for a sixer by chintan."Once more",the crowd exclaimed.Hemal was extremely anrgry with him(Abhi).."Asshole..!",he shouted..Chintan and me were having a gentle smile on our faces..the
second delivery also resulted in a flamboyant six.The score board blinked 12-0 in 0.2 overs.The crowd was going mad and pessure started building up on 'THE GORILLAS'.The third delivery gave the same outcome but it was bit dramatic this time.Chintan went for a hook shot and nandish dropped the catch near the boundry with the ball falling off the ropes.It was a six..! "Thank GOd",i whispered.Hemal was angry with nandish this time.Everything was going wrong with 'THE GORILLAS'..3 balls and 18 runs.."What the hell..?",hemal shouted..The first over ended up with 30 runs on the scorebord.The Style icon Hemal snatched the ball from Abhi's hand telling him "U know something..? u r an asshole"."i'm sorry",Abhi apologised and the second over started.i was on strike during his first ball.i'm not a good batsman but guess wht..? one more six.."1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2",we sang and danced..'THE GORILLAS' were completely exasperated.The second over ended up 56 runs on the score-board with no loss obviously.There was no srike change during this over and hence we changed our side for the third one.Chintan was on stike again to smash their asses off.Three more sixes yielded from this over.We took no singles in this three overs.Score bored shouted "Good going 'THE HOOLIGANS'".The fourth over yielded 16 more runs with four fours by me.The last over was the best.Chintan hit six sixes in six balls in pratik's over breaking all the previous records.Audience went crazy..! breaking off the fences and lifting us on their shoulders.The
score-board displayed 126-0 in 5 overs..GOD..!

ooooooooffffffffffff..!

Guess wht..?

they literally gave up and went off in their honda city..!

"jab aaye the to deewar ke amitabh ki tarah aur jab jaa rahe ho to sholay ke asrani ke tarah"

We were declared the WINNERS and the match was called off..!

"Just when they found the key to success, we changed the lock"

MORAL:
The key to success is 1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2.

PS: This post is not meant to hurt anyone's sentiments but to prove my point.

'THE CHADDI MODEL'

This humorous piece of work was collectively carried out by partners in crime and computer engineers viz. Aman, Ritwik, Tejas, Hemal and ME during our seventh semester's externals..

The piece of work is not only humorous but informative too. It has already helped many of our juniors (in college) to crack their software engineering exams with flying colors..

It's a mnemonic to remember Software Life Cycle Model -- 'The Waterfall Model'

wait..!

seems confusing..?

lemme elaborate..

'The Waterfall Model' is one of the Software Life Cycle Models that describes the steps involved in Software development and the most ideal one..

Have u ever thought that..how is a software developed..?

No..?

okay then get ready..

Steps included in 'The Waterfall Model' are :

1) Feasibility study.
if it's feasible then move on to Step 2 else quit.

2) Requirement analysis and specification.

3) Design.

4) Coding

5) Implementation.

6) Integration.

7) Testing.

lol..! sounds tough..? difficult to remember..?

We also thought the same..

I still remember how we struggled to cram the above life cycle model..We had an exam (Software engineering) the other day and were literally stuck on this model..

but geniuses always finds their way up..!

We came up with an instantly cooked mnemonic 'THE CHADDI MODEL'

So here i present..'THE CHADDI MODEL'

Steps included in 'THE CHADDI MODEL' are:

1) Chaddi hai ki nahi. (Feasibility study)
chaddi bana ni ki chhadi hai ki nahi..

if 'no' then move on to Step 2

yes..yes..the difference lies here..there is no quitting in 'THE CHADDI MODEL' as Winners never quit..

else

Step 3

2) Chaddi chirna.

now go to Step 3

3) Chaddi bana ne ke liye client ka size naapna aur doosri gupt information collect karna. ( Requirement analysis and specification)

4) Chaddi ka design taiyaar karna. (Design)

5) Chaddi ke parts ko individual taiyaar karna. (Coding and Implementation)

6) Chaddi ke parts ko seena. (Integration)

7) Chaddi pahen kar test karna. (Testing)

and thats all..!

howz tht..?

easy..? hmm..! even we thought so..

anyways..carry on..

all the best for ur software engineering exam..!

NGNB (Nice Guy, Not Bastard) THEOREM

Statement :

Prerak is a nice person and not a bastard.

Given:

Prerak

To Prove:

Prerak is a nice person.
Prerak is not a bastard.

Proof:

“Not all people, who claims that they are not bastards, are bastards.” ------ (1)
-- Prerak S. Parikh
' Daily Vibes'
1998

I claim that I am not a bastard. ------ (2)


Chhabu, a respected computer engineer, a SAP consultant and my near & dear friend is well known for ‘speaking truth’ in my friend circle..

Every word uttered by him is true. ------ (3)

The following are certain real life incidents, evidences and stories that supports my point and are required to prove my theorem.


1) Chabbra’s Traffic light’s theory :-

A traffic signal has three lights..Red, Yellow and Green..

Hey Hey..wait..!

I’m sure u must be wondering wht the hell am I talking..?

Well, this is not at all related to traffic signal but the colours..

lemme elaborate..

Chhabu used to carry a diary in which he categorized people whom he met in his life under three different columns..

'The Red' , 'The Yellow' and 'The Green'

Strange..?

it is..!

Red symbolizes anger, hatred, abhorrence, etc..
Those people, whom Chhabu hated the most in life, were placed in this column. The column consisted of 50% of the people, whom he knew..

Yellow symbolizes dullness, etc..
Those people, whom he had okay okay types relationship, were placed here. The column consisted of rest 40% of the people.

Green symbolizes truth, love, etc..
The rest 10% of the people, whom he really liked were categorized in this column..

Guess wht..?

I was categorized in the ‘Green ’column which makes a nice person according to him. ------ (4)

Now, from (3) and (4)

It can be easily proved tht I’m a nice person ------ proved ------ (5)


2) Chhabu in puddle

fasten ur seat belts..it’s humorous..

Once upon a time (this is how all the stories starts)..

but wait..

I still remember when it took place..

This comic incident took place during third internal in the 5th semester. I was unfortunately not there as I was commuting. Hemal, Chhabu and me were room partners those days.

Hey Hey..! chillax guys..! i’m sure u all must be anxiously waiting for me to start..

Well, here I go..

Chhabu, a respected computer engineer and a SAP consultant as I said earlier and Hemal, the style icon were taking a deep nap on one fine rainy evening in room no 215 of DDU hostel. It was extremely dark and the clock struck 7. Dark clouds were showering heavily with loud thunderstorms literally ripping off the ear drums. A sudden crackling sound of thunderstorm woke Hemal up from a wonderful dream. He then woke Chhabu up and both decided to take dinner at Woodlands (‘THE’ place in Nadiad for lunch and dinner). Hemal quickly wore a black agile T-Shirt and a bermuda shorts and asked chhabu who was lazily lying on bed to get ready fast. Chhabu quickly donned his ‘phuket’ jersey, ‘bornfire’ bermuda shorts and a pair of fancy brown slippers on hemal’s warning to leave for dinner without him if he took more time. Eventually, they locked up the room door and headed for Woodlands but not before kicking Dilli’s room’s door (room no. 212) which was on the right side of the lobby from 215, just to bug him (Dilli), Ramani and Jinu.

On reaching the hostel’s main gate, they found out that the kuchcha road that connected the hostel with Kisan Samosa Street was water-logged. It was no different than a marshy land; slippery and watery. Inspite of Chhabu’s refusal, they decided to go ahead. Discussing about the exam we took in the morning , they started to find their way by the road sides which was less slippery. They were literally struggling to get to the Kisan Samosa Street from where they could get an auto rickshaw and reach the restaurant easily. Suddenly a sound was heard (only to one person..u’ll soon know) ‘puchhaakk’..should I replay it again..? ‘puchhaakk’ yes yes..u heard it right ‘puchhaakk’..Don’t laugh..but Chhabu’s left leg was in a puddle and his foot along with fancy slipper got stuck in wet mud beneath, halting him. Hemal did not realize at that time and kept on moving ahead carefully only to find out later that Chhabu wasn’t around. He looked back and saw Chhabu stuck somewhere. He exclaimed “ hey loda, tya shu kare che..? jaldi karne..kaale exam che..khabar che ne..? ek pan akshar vaachiyo nathi” ("Hey ass..! wht the hell are you doing over there..? come fast..! don’t u know that we have exam tomorrow..? I haven’t studied a single word yet.”).Chhabu’s cry for help made Hemal realize that he was in trouble. On knowing wht happened exactly, Hemal started laughing like anything as if Chhabu was a joker. Chhabu asked him for help but he (Hemal) was intelligent. His laughter grew louder and louder. Finding himself alone, Chhabu decided to help himself on his own. To remove his left leg from the puddle, he forcefully inserted his right one on which he can lift the left leg, splashing the muddy water all over his body. Guess wht..? I know u guessed it right..! he ended up with both the legs in the puddle; completely stranded. “ Bhagwaan, O mara Bhagwaan..!” (“God, Oh my God..!”), he cried. Still, Hemal’s laughter was growing louder and louder (asshole..!).

Eventually, Chhabu decided to take an immediate step and he lifted his left leg with a jerk only to find that his foot was bare...(lol..!). His fancy brown slipper was gone. It was stuck in wet mud in the puddle. He then placed his left bare foot at a safer place and furiously lifted his right one..yes yes..it isn’t hard to guess..! the right slipper was also gone..Hemal went crazier and crazier (haramkhor). Chhabu was now bare footed ,wht we call as “Naange paav” in hindi..with his pair of fancy slippers stuck in the puddle. He was almost entirely splashed with muddy water all over his body..(Wht a comic scene..?). Unfortunately (infact fortunately), there was no one around to help (Hemal = no one). There was no option left with Chhabu other than to put his hands in the puddle to search his slippers..(Yuck..!). He fortunately (infact unfortunately) found the slippers with mud all around and washed it in some other nearby puddle. He angrily asked Hemal “Bhaad ma jaa..!” (“Plz,Go Away..!”) and told him “agar Prerko hot to mane definitely help karat” (“ If Prerak would have had been there, he would have had definitely helped me”)..

wait..!

lemme just rewind and play it again in 1/2x mode

“a g a r P r e r k o h o t t o m a n e d e f I n I t e l y h e l p k a r a t” (“ I f P r e r a k w o u l d h a v e h a d b e e n t h e r e , h e w o u l d h a v e h a d d e f I n I t e l y h e l p e d m e”). ------ (6)

This proves that Chhabu believes that I’m not a bastard. ------ (7)

from (3) and (7) we can deduce that

Prerak is not a bastard ------proved ------ (8)

Finally, from (5) and (8)

Prerak is a nice person.
Prerak is not a bastard.

Hence, the statement..
Prerak is a nice person and not a bastard.