Friday, January 25, 2008

DAVID BLAINE SPOOF : HILARIOUS

PART I



PART II



PART III



PART IV



PART V



PART VI

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

My friends are not useless :)

Hello peeps..!

I've always thought that my friends are useless but guess what..they managed to occupy their place in the front page of THE TIMES OF INDIA (ahmedabad version - 5th novemeber 2007).

Check out the following article.


Hookah no bar at home




Ahmedabad: It’s hip, it’s cool and it’s in...but it’s also banned, at least, in public places. Which is why, there’s all the more reason to take the fad home.

The city hookah bars downed shutters after police officials cracked down on several of these on August 27, citing reasons like minors taking to smoking and restaurants violating licensing norms. But this was no dampener for city’s youngsters.

Tapan Bhagat, a young businessman, headed for the nearest antique shop to get a hookah of his own. Today, his home is a hang-out for his friends, flushed with flavoured molasses, tobacco and hookah as accompaniments.

Get-togethers over a hookah have hit conservative homes too. Tapan (21) says, “Initially, my mother did not like the idea at all. But when I explained her that hookah was not harmful and promised that the house would not smell of flavoured tobacco, she was convinced. Later, my father also tried it and now, sometimes both of us smoke together”.

For Sahil Sheth (21), who is pursuing a masters degree in commerce, smoking a hookah at home is more fun. Sahil says, “I have had hookah at home for a long time, but now I use them frequently. I found that smoking hookah at home was more fun as I can set the ambience according to my taste.”

Some have even gone to the extent of getting ingredients for their newfound interest from abroad. “A friend of mine who was in the US got me the self-lighting coal which does not need a sigdi but can be lit by a match-stick,” said Sahil. Anand Swami (25), a corporate executive, felt hookah bars were expensive. “At the hookah bars, having hookah followed by food would cost us nothing less than Rs 700. At home, I can enjoy the same hookah for just Rs 4,” he says.

With police having banned ‘hookah bars’ in Ahmedabad, youths have procured their own and enjoy puffing at home

Courtesy : Vasundhara Vyas TNN
(THE TIMES OF INDIA)

Thursday, November 8, 2007

ISA days

Those days would never ever come back..:(

It would definitely hurt everytime i'll see October(0) in my blog archieve. I sincerely apologise for absolutely no activities in the month of october. All blame and accusations to my laziness.

This post has been uploaded on the special request of my ISA friends.I sincerely dedicate the post to my ISA batchmates.I've tried to compile all the incidents that i could recall of and which would help me and my friends to refresh our ISA memories everytime we go through this post.

Indian School, Al-ain, Abu-Dhabi ( ISA )

My ISA journey started in 2000 when i shifted to UAE in 10th std. Since then i've gathered so many memories tht could hardly be forgotten in my whole life.

10th GRADE

1) Coke Spilling incident :).
Main culprits :- Masood and Nahas.

2) Shakir's attempt to turn a circular into a pornocular ;).

3) Wassem sir's classes at Salem's house.

4) Hindi Classes ( Adnan's and Osman's love-hate relationship ).

11th and 12th GRADE

1) Attempt to sit on principal's and headmaster's chair.

2) "He rotated his underpants".

3) "What kind of doctors and engineers will u become..before opening thepatient, he'll die".

4) Hasan - shirli - allah-rakha.

5) Picnic to SAFA PARK, DUBAI - KFC - Football.

6) Couch Attack on Bhami - smashed, thrashed and crashed by headmaster.

7) "kachra"-"they dont even read the newspapers"-"Manglish"-- Omen sir.

8) Sylesh sir's classes at his place - Bin Ali - Choittram - night stay - Blue streak.

9) Iftaar parties @ Reshad's, Mohsin's, Shabin's, Osman's and Salem's place.

10) Himadri's b'day party - deos - lunch box - potatoes - sex stories.

11) "As early in the morning, as early in the morning, as early in the morning, before the breakfast" - Class song.

12) Dynamic and GenX.

13) Raes in library - truth or dare.

14) Osman - Ayesha - Masood (love traingle ;)).

15) Plans to shut off lights @ 25th Annual function.

16) Cricket match : ISA vs OOEHS where ISA thrashed OOEHS badly.

17) Sport's day.

18) Raes's - bathroom slip.

19) Al-Ain Mall visits.

20) Cricket @ Alwyn's place.

21) Football @ Salem's place.

22) Hassan's farting stories.

23) Bettino's place - pondi.

24) Alwyn's b'day party.

25) My b'day party.

26) Priyaraj's play.

27) Salem's and Raes's dance.

28) Flicking stories..;).

Thursday, September 27, 2007

How to earn money ?


Don't work hard; work smart.
Prerak Parikh
a smart guy

There is nothing like listening to heart; use brain everywhere.
Prerak Parikh
a brainy chap

There are things which seem incredible to most men who have not studied Mathematics.
Prerak Parikh
mathematician

Friends,

How to earn money ? This is one of the most frequently asked questions since ages. People nowadays want to earn money by any means; by hook or by crook..but how..? this is a head scratching question. There are millions and trillions of websites on internet that gives u useless tips on the same, but don't worry you have come to the right place. I'll teach you one effective method to earn bucks.

Let say, u got a cricket series ( 6 matches ) ahead next month..

First match : India v/s Australia

All u got to do is to prepare 800 letters that predicts outcome of the first match.

Write INDIA WILL WIN TOMORROW in 400 letters and AUSTRALIA WILL WIN TOMORROW in the rest 400.

Post these letters to random addresses in your city before the match day..yeah..mind u that u post the letters to rich people around..
Now..let say..if INDIA WINS, ur next step should be but obvious..concentrate on the clients whom u have sent letters bearing INDIA WILL WIN TOMORROW.

Second match : Pakistan v/s South Africa


Out of these 400 fools, post PAKISTAN WILL WIN TOMORROW to 200 people and SOUTH AFRICA WILL WIN TOMORROW to the rest.

Now..let say..if SOUTH AFRICA WINS, ur next step should be but obvious again..concentrate on the bumchums whom u have sent letters bearing SOUTH AFRICA WILL WIN TOMORROW. These 200 people would be the ones who recieved two correct predictions from u.

Third match : West Indies v/s Srilanka

Of these 200, send WI WILL WIN TOMORROW to 100 and SRILANKA WILL WIN TOMORROW to the rest.
So now u tell me wht if WI wins..? yeah..u r right..
u got 100 fools left.

Fourth match : Scotland v/s Canada

Remaining fools : 50 :-)

Fifth match : UAE v/s Zimbabwe

Send UAE WILL WIN TOMORROW to 25 of them and ZIMBABWE WILL WIN TOMORROW to the rest 25

do the same..if ZIMBABWE WINS..concentrate on the asses whom u have sent letters which says ZIMBABWE WILL WIN TOMORROW.

Sixth mach : Kenya v/s Bangladesh

Well, here Kenyans are underdogs..So send BANGLADESH WILL WIN TOMORROW to 13 people of those 25 and KENYA WILL WIN TOMORROW to the rest 12.

So if Bangladesh wins,

these 13 people out of 800 (originally) would be the ones who got all the correct predictions.

NOTE : Do write ur phone number at the end of each letter that u despatch everytime.

The real play starts now..

These 13 people are the ones who are completely boggled by ur predictions..u r kinda sure shot match predictors for them.

Post one more letter to them saying that they can avail predictions for the future match series at a minimal cost of $200.

I bet u'll surely get response from atleast 10 of them..:-)

So, 10*200 = $ 2000

$ 2000 per series..wht say..? not bad..

PS: The author is not responsible for any jetty consequences that one might/might not face later on.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Repondez s'il vous plait

Friends,

Have u ever thought wht would u do after u get a rejection letter from the company u applied to for a job, a week ago..

don't know..? okay okay..u have come to the right place..

i'll give u some sure shot tips that would really help u out..

Just hold the rejection letter in your hand and imagine that RSVP is printed on its bottom right. Arrey..don't think much..i asking u to imagine it.

The next time u get a rejection letter from a hoped-employer, a company or a publisher just reply them with the following:

Dear (name of the employer),

Thank you for your awesomely written letter of rejection dated (date). Despite the fact that the letter was nicely written, it had certain spelling mistakes. I don't understand, how come an employer like you from a well-known & world reputed firm, commit such horrible spelling mistakes. Dude you gotta improve. (Write the lines even if there are no spelling mistakes). After careful consideration, I sincerely regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal. I tried hard but I'm sorry.

You would be shocked to learn that this year I have been consistently & particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of refusals. You wont believe but I actually recieved some 500 rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it's impossible for me to accept all the refusals. Despite your company's outstanding qualifications and 50 years of past experience in rejecting job applications, I find that your rejection doesn't meet with my needs presently. You could probaby try later on.

Hence, I will initiate empoyment with your organisation as soon as I am done with my graduation. Please note that I would not tolerate your wrong english once I join your company so better start working on it. And please be well-prepared to face an interview with me after I join. I might ask anything. I look forward to working with you.

All the very best for rejecting future candidates.

Sincerely,

(your name).

PS:
The author is not responsible for any unpredictable consequences that one might/might not face later on.

The World of Paradoxes

Empty mind is not just devil's workshop but devil's drawing room, devil's bedroom and devil's toilet too.

Prerak Parikh
lazy swine

Oh God..!

What's happening to me these days..? My mind is going weirder and weirder day by day..it's going from bad to worse and from worse to worst.I don't know why but i've started relating everything to paradoxes these days..everything i think, ends up in a paradoxical situation.I know tht sounds bit awkward but i've actually studied some real life paradoxical cases.

lemme start..

Prerak's paradox

I discovered this paradox while chatting with a girl named Nirali Shah on mig33. Lemme tell u how it all happened and how the paradox hit mind..On one fine day, some couple of days ago, while having a regular chat, i asked her what is she doing.She was like she is in a room with her friend and both are chatting with their respective friends on mig33. I was bit boggled at that time..i don't know why but i felt something strange..For a minute or two, i closed my eyes and started analysing the situation..According to her, the situation was, two persons in a room chatting with their respective friends in the outer world on their phones..okay okay..lemme simplify the case..

Let the world population count be X.

The room is THE INNER WORLD ( no communication by any means among the people in the inner world is allowed).

The people with whom the inner world people are chatting with are in THE OUTER WORLD.

Now..for the first case, i mean the case which she told..

The number of people in the inner world = 2 and the number of people in the outer world = X-2

okay lets take a different case..think of a case where there are six people in a room.

This means..

The number of people in the inner world = 6 and the number of people in the outer world = X-6

Think of a case where there are 100 people in a room.

Obviously,

The number of people in the inner world = 100 and the number of people in the outer world = X-100

Now let us integrate the case to its extreme value..just think wht if the whole world (world's population) is in the inner world (in a room)..?

Just think for a while..yeah tht's a PARADOX

A person is not allowed to chat with a person in the inner world and there is no one in the outer world.. wht say..?


Paradox's paradox

couldn't think of a proper name.. :)

This is worst paradox ever studied/thought.

well, i thought of this paradox while shitting..To be honest, more than half of the mind work is done on a pot seat.

Imagine, there are two families.

Family 1 :
A lady named X, her mother Y and her daughter Z.

Family 2:
A man named A, his father B and his son C.

Now tell me wht if X marries A, Y marries B and Z marries C..?

OMFG..see how relations intermingle..

1) A's father B is also his son-in-law.
2) A's son C is also his father-in-law.
3) X's mother Y is also her daughter-in-law.
4) X's daughter Z is also her mother-in-law.
5) A's mother-in-law Y is also his daughter-in-law.
6) A's daughter (actual daughter of X) is also his mother.
7) X's father_in_law B is also her son-in-law.
8) X's son (actual son of A) is also her father.

i know u must be pulling your hair..even i did ;)

Paradox, paradox and paradox all over.

okay okay..don't think much..get back to ur work..

Bye :)


Tuesday, August 21, 2007

STRANGE WORLD, STRANGE PEOPLE !

BACK IN ACTION
I said "Sorry !"; She said "Please don't talk to me."
I said "Sorry !" again; She said "Please don't disurb me."
But when I said "Go to Hell !", She said "Hey..! I'm sorry."
Prerak S. Parikh
Psychologist
The Times
August 2007

Hello friends,
Good day..!

I'm here to discuss something about HUMAN PSYCHOLOGY today. HUMAN PSYCHOLOGY refers to a scientific discipline that studies/analyzes mental process and behaviour in humans. Psychology is a science of individual or group behaviour and the word literally means ‘Study of mind’.

Well, lemme take you away from such bookish definitions to some real observations and instances. I’ll cover few points, few illustrations which would give u a sheer picture of human tendency to react to negative/weird stuffs.

1) Imagine a scenario where you are invited in a public function in which some random person is gonna be awarded for his bravery. Now, tell me how many of u would actually go and attend the function..? Tell me what’s the probability of your attending the function..? I’m dead sure it would be less than 50% (survey). You, infact anyone would think what the hell will one do over there..? What say..?

Okay..Now imagine a scenario where you are invited in the same public function and the same person is gonna be beaten hard instead of being awarded. Now tell me what the probability is..?
More than 90% (rather 100%) ? So, this is what I want to explain that a human mind always reacts to a negative impact.

According to my survey, 2 out of 10 people said that they would attend the function where the man was to be awarded whereas rest all said “No” and 9 out of 10 people said that they would attend the function where the man was to be beaten hard whereas just one person said “No”. The picture is clear.

2) You must have noticed that at each and every university/college main gate, there stand dozens of boys/young men, handing out paper pamphlets for advertisement purposes. Some say “Work while you study” whereas others say “Best coaching class in town”. Don’t u think these people are fools..?

I want u to tell me how many of these pamphlets are actually read by the students..? Tell me what percentage do the pamphlets that are read make..?
20% or 30% (survey) right?

So how should one tackle this..? How should one increase the percentage..?

Well, here it is. Think, what if the boys give away the pamphlets after folding them into paper balls..? I’m pretty sure that even the busiest man on the planet would unfold it to check what’s in, out of curiosity.

The percentage could be drastically improved (upto 60%) by such practice. Human psychology plays a vital role here too.

3) I’ve had observed one more thing during my college life. The number of people/friends disturbing u, when u hang DON’T DISTURB placard on ur door handle, are more than the number of friends disturbing u, when u don’t hang it.

So think about it..never ever hang such stuff, if u don’t wanna get disturbed. Human psychology is strange.

4) Do u like random chats with random people..? i mean..yahoo, young times, mig33..? Yes..?
Well, i got some tips then..I usually chat with random people on mig33 and I’ve noticed one thing. Infact, it was a sort of survey to prove my point.

What i did was..I typed ‘Hey, asl..?’ in the chat box and sent it to 10 girls (obviously,i don’t chat with boys in random chat room). To my surprise, i got replies from just 2 girls. I don’t understand why girls don’t reply to genuine people (me ;-)). I waited and waited..still, no more replies..(in vain)

Huh ! What i did then was, I typed ‘Hey Bitch’ and sent it to the same girls..Can u guess what would have had happened then..? i know it’s easy to guess..Can u..? Well, I got 10 replies..yes yes..all the 10 girls replied..

It’s as simple as that. Human psychology, once again.

5) U would be surprised to know that even our memory is related to the psychology. Want to know how..? okay..

I’ll give u a list of items..
i) Man
ii) Bread
iii) Cup
iv) Knife
v) Coin
vi) Clock
vii) Desk
Now can u remember this list..? i know it would be tough to recall I but as I said earlier, Human psychology rules!

I’ll tell u how can it help you..

Try to remember the list in the following way..link each and every item one by one. For example..first link man and bread..think of the weirdest combination between the two..something like man and bread are best friends or man and bread are playing cricket etc. Once done with this, move on to the third item viz. Cup. Now, relate bread with a cup..again in a strange way..something like a cup is made up of bread crumb.etc..etc..Keep on linking items one by one and try to recall it..i’m damn sure that it would flow smoothly..enjoy!

Conclusion : Everything is possible in this weird world, if u think differently.

PS : The author is not at all responsible for any jetty consequences that one might/might not face after reading the article.