Thursday, September 27, 2007

How to earn money ?


Don't work hard; work smart.
Prerak Parikh
a smart guy

There is nothing like listening to heart; use brain everywhere.
Prerak Parikh
a brainy chap

There are things which seem incredible to most men who have not studied Mathematics.
Prerak Parikh
mathematician

Friends,

How to earn money ? This is one of the most frequently asked questions since ages. People nowadays want to earn money by any means; by hook or by crook..but how..? this is a head scratching question. There are millions and trillions of websites on internet that gives u useless tips on the same, but don't worry you have come to the right place. I'll teach you one effective method to earn bucks.

Let say, u got a cricket series ( 6 matches ) ahead next month..

First match : India v/s Australia

All u got to do is to prepare 800 letters that predicts outcome of the first match.

Write INDIA WILL WIN TOMORROW in 400 letters and AUSTRALIA WILL WIN TOMORROW in the rest 400.

Post these letters to random addresses in your city before the match day..yeah..mind u that u post the letters to rich people around..
Now..let say..if INDIA WINS, ur next step should be but obvious..concentrate on the clients whom u have sent letters bearing INDIA WILL WIN TOMORROW.

Second match : Pakistan v/s South Africa


Out of these 400 fools, post PAKISTAN WILL WIN TOMORROW to 200 people and SOUTH AFRICA WILL WIN TOMORROW to the rest.

Now..let say..if SOUTH AFRICA WINS, ur next step should be but obvious again..concentrate on the bumchums whom u have sent letters bearing SOUTH AFRICA WILL WIN TOMORROW. These 200 people would be the ones who recieved two correct predictions from u.

Third match : West Indies v/s Srilanka

Of these 200, send WI WILL WIN TOMORROW to 100 and SRILANKA WILL WIN TOMORROW to the rest.
So now u tell me wht if WI wins..? yeah..u r right..
u got 100 fools left.

Fourth match : Scotland v/s Canada

Remaining fools : 50 :-)

Fifth match : UAE v/s Zimbabwe

Send UAE WILL WIN TOMORROW to 25 of them and ZIMBABWE WILL WIN TOMORROW to the rest 25

do the same..if ZIMBABWE WINS..concentrate on the asses whom u have sent letters which says ZIMBABWE WILL WIN TOMORROW.

Sixth mach : Kenya v/s Bangladesh

Well, here Kenyans are underdogs..So send BANGLADESH WILL WIN TOMORROW to 13 people of those 25 and KENYA WILL WIN TOMORROW to the rest 12.

So if Bangladesh wins,

these 13 people out of 800 (originally) would be the ones who got all the correct predictions.

NOTE : Do write ur phone number at the end of each letter that u despatch everytime.

The real play starts now..

These 13 people are the ones who are completely boggled by ur predictions..u r kinda sure shot match predictors for them.

Post one more letter to them saying that they can avail predictions for the future match series at a minimal cost of $200.

I bet u'll surely get response from atleast 10 of them..:-)

So, 10*200 = $ 2000

$ 2000 per series..wht say..? not bad..

PS: The author is not responsible for any jetty consequences that one might/might not face later on.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Repondez s'il vous plait

Friends,

Have u ever thought wht would u do after u get a rejection letter from the company u applied to for a job, a week ago..

don't know..? okay okay..u have come to the right place..

i'll give u some sure shot tips that would really help u out..

Just hold the rejection letter in your hand and imagine that RSVP is printed on its bottom right. Arrey..don't think much..i asking u to imagine it.

The next time u get a rejection letter from a hoped-employer, a company or a publisher just reply them with the following:

Dear (name of the employer),

Thank you for your awesomely written letter of rejection dated (date). Despite the fact that the letter was nicely written, it had certain spelling mistakes. I don't understand, how come an employer like you from a well-known & world reputed firm, commit such horrible spelling mistakes. Dude you gotta improve. (Write the lines even if there are no spelling mistakes). After careful consideration, I sincerely regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal. I tried hard but I'm sorry.

You would be shocked to learn that this year I have been consistently & particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of refusals. You wont believe but I actually recieved some 500 rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it's impossible for me to accept all the refusals. Despite your company's outstanding qualifications and 50 years of past experience in rejecting job applications, I find that your rejection doesn't meet with my needs presently. You could probaby try later on.

Hence, I will initiate empoyment with your organisation as soon as I am done with my graduation. Please note that I would not tolerate your wrong english once I join your company so better start working on it. And please be well-prepared to face an interview with me after I join. I might ask anything. I look forward to working with you.

All the very best for rejecting future candidates.

Sincerely,

(your name).

PS:
The author is not responsible for any unpredictable consequences that one might/might not face later on.

The World of Paradoxes

Empty mind is not just devil's workshop but devil's drawing room, devil's bedroom and devil's toilet too.

Prerak Parikh
lazy swine

Oh God..!

What's happening to me these days..? My mind is going weirder and weirder day by day..it's going from bad to worse and from worse to worst.I don't know why but i've started relating everything to paradoxes these days..everything i think, ends up in a paradoxical situation.I know tht sounds bit awkward but i've actually studied some real life paradoxical cases.

lemme start..

Prerak's paradox

I discovered this paradox while chatting with a girl named Nirali Shah on mig33. Lemme tell u how it all happened and how the paradox hit mind..On one fine day, some couple of days ago, while having a regular chat, i asked her what is she doing.She was like she is in a room with her friend and both are chatting with their respective friends on mig33. I was bit boggled at that time..i don't know why but i felt something strange..For a minute or two, i closed my eyes and started analysing the situation..According to her, the situation was, two persons in a room chatting with their respective friends in the outer world on their phones..okay okay..lemme simplify the case..

Let the world population count be X.

The room is THE INNER WORLD ( no communication by any means among the people in the inner world is allowed).

The people with whom the inner world people are chatting with are in THE OUTER WORLD.

Now..for the first case, i mean the case which she told..

The number of people in the inner world = 2 and the number of people in the outer world = X-2

okay lets take a different case..think of a case where there are six people in a room.

This means..

The number of people in the inner world = 6 and the number of people in the outer world = X-6

Think of a case where there are 100 people in a room.

Obviously,

The number of people in the inner world = 100 and the number of people in the outer world = X-100

Now let us integrate the case to its extreme value..just think wht if the whole world (world's population) is in the inner world (in a room)..?

Just think for a while..yeah tht's a PARADOX

A person is not allowed to chat with a person in the inner world and there is no one in the outer world.. wht say..?


Paradox's paradox

couldn't think of a proper name.. :)

This is worst paradox ever studied/thought.

well, i thought of this paradox while shitting..To be honest, more than half of the mind work is done on a pot seat.

Imagine, there are two families.

Family 1 :
A lady named X, her mother Y and her daughter Z.

Family 2:
A man named A, his father B and his son C.

Now tell me wht if X marries A, Y marries B and Z marries C..?

OMFG..see how relations intermingle..

1) A's father B is also his son-in-law.
2) A's son C is also his father-in-law.
3) X's mother Y is also her daughter-in-law.
4) X's daughter Z is also her mother-in-law.
5) A's mother-in-law Y is also his daughter-in-law.
6) A's daughter (actual daughter of X) is also his mother.
7) X's father_in_law B is also her son-in-law.
8) X's son (actual son of A) is also her father.

i know u must be pulling your hair..even i did ;)

Paradox, paradox and paradox all over.

okay okay..don't think much..get back to ur work..

Bye :)